Daily Nonsense

David Letterman:   Top Ten Signs President Bush Doesn’t Care Anymore: "10. Hasn’t taken off his Iron Man costume since Halloween.
9. The menu for the White House Thanksgiving dinner? Corn dogs and Beefaroni.
8. Drew a picture of Garfield on Dick Cheney’s bald head.
7. He’s barely trying to ruin the economy anymore.
6. Spent the entire weekend in the Oval Office pardoning himself.
5. Saw Osama at Arby’s drive-thru but didn’t feel like chasing him.
4. Spends cabinet meetings scanning classifieds for next job.
3. Primary focus is surpassing Hank Paulson’s high score on ‘Guitar Hero.’
2. Asking Obama, ‘How soon can you bail me out of the White House?’
1. Started dating hefty interns."

Jay Leno:   "I tell you," the "economy is bad. … In fact, today — you know the White House turkey? Turned down the pardon. Said all his money’s in the market. Nothing left to live for."