Jay Leno:   "These wildfires continuing to burn here in L.A. I haven’t seen anything go up in smoke like this since my 401(k)."

Jay Leno:   Once Barack Obama "becomes president, he’ll have to give up all personal communication devices because of security concerns. So, it looks like America’s ready for a black president. We’re just not ready for a BlackBerry president."

Jay Leno:   "Barack Obama says one of his top priorities once he becomes president is closing down Guantanamo Bay. To make sure it closes, he’s going to turn it into a bank."

David Letterman:   Thanksgiving is "a time when people can do nice things for others who are less fortunate. … For example, if you get the opportunity, if you have your Thanksgiving dinner, invite a Lehman brother."

Craig Ferguson:   "Everyone is waiting to see what" Barack Obama has "got planned. We already know his economic plan. It’s designed to help small businesses that make under $250,000 a year. You know, like General Motors and Chrysler."

Conan O’Brien:   Barack Obama "met with former political rival John McCain." Both "men said it was a relief to put their differences aside, sit down, and really make fun of Sarah Palin."