David Letterman:   The Supreme Court "ruled individuals have the right to carry guns." But do not "think you can just go into a gun store and buy a gun. There is still a strict 15-minute waiting period."
Jimmy Kimmel:   "The latest Bloomberg poll shows" Barack Obama "has a 15-point lead over John McCain." Obama "leads […]

Conan O’Brien:   "Barack Obama’s staff and John McCain’s staff are busy now negotiating when the presidential debates will take place. … Yeah, Obama wants them to be in September, and McCain wants them to be after his nap, but before ‘Wheel of Fortune.’"
Craig Ferguson:   "John McCain revealed his energy plan today. He wants to […]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FiQJ9Xp0xxU

Jay Leno:   "You know, I’ll tell you, things are not good. The price of oil doubled in less than a year. Home foreclosures are at a record high. Unemployment is surging. But yesterday…we saw a ray of hope. President Bush left the country. So maybe things will get better."
Jay Leno:   "Unemployment has hit 5.5%, the […]

David Letterman:   Top Ten Signs Your Neighbor Is an Alien. "1. He’s bald, gray and creepy, but he’s not Dick Cheney."

Jay Leno:   "Today, Hillary Clinton’s camp said she is not actively seeking the vice presidential nomination. And then her pantsuit caught on fire."
David Letterman:   "Hillary Clinton…has announced that she" will be "officially ending her campaign on Saturday. … She’s going to wait until Saturday because tomorrow is the Honduras primary."

Jay Leno:   "The good news — the whole voting process ended tonight. … The bad news — the 2012 Democratic primary starts on Thursday."

Jay Leno:   “President Bush’s daughter Jenna is getting married this weekend. There’ll be 200 guests at wedding, which according the latest polls, means that 140 of those people at the wedding disapprove of the job President Bush is doing.
Jay Leno:   “Indiana and North Carolina held their primaries today. But the […]

These two pictures say it all.

Jay Leno:   “MSNBC is reporting that the Department of Homeland Security wants all 80 million of America’s recreational boaters to be on the lookout for terrorists in small boats trying to explode a nuclear bomb. I don’t believe it. What are we paying, $50 billion a year for homeland security? […]

Jay Leno:   “Well, even though she won yesterday, you know, Hillary Clinton’s campaign now $10 million in debt. … Yeah. And ironically, her big issue: ‘I can handle the economy.’”

There is an interesting article over at Enturbulation.org that proposes a theory that L. Ron Hubbard, a mediocre S.F. writer, was not the original author of the ideas behind Scientology.  In fact, the article goes on to say that Dr. Anastasius Nordenholz originally wrote a book called "Scientology: Science of the Constitution and Usefulness of […]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdD54rG9oQA

Following closely on the heels of an apparently successful iPhone launch Apple faces stumbling blocks on the road to world domination in other camps. On July 6 of this year Universal pulled the plug on it’s two year old contract with Apple. The Universal offerings on iTunes account for about 25% of sales. Now, NBC […]

I’m sure that most of you heard about the incredibly incoherent answer that Miss South Carolina gave during the recent Miss Teen USA pageant. When asked why she thought that 1/5th of Americans cannot locate America on a world map Miss South Carolina basically choked and answered:
(please note that this is an imperfect translation)
I personally […]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4L9u4Mi_MVM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WElJp2Hj56U