Daily Nonsense

Over at the Gawker.com they have a post about an item that’s currently on auction over at EBay. A time traveler (or time sensitive remote viewer) has the plans for the Scientologist’s E-Meter circa 2257! Utilizing advanced construction techniques and ‘high-tensile ultra-clear tape’, this intrepid craftsman has created a one-of-a-kind prototype of the Scientologist’s thetan thwacker.

I really wish he had been able to bring back the plans of the ‘Holistic Aura Scrubber’ that I’m supposed to invent next week. I guess I’ll just actually have to do the research.

Update: Buy your very own E-Meter on EBay!!! Link -> HERE!

Scientology’s E-Meter Of The Future Revealed!

For those of you curious about how Scientology’s breakthrough “E-meter” technology will evolve over the next 250 years, the answer is here. On Ebay! An inventive pioneer has returned from the year 2257 with the incredible, futuristic version of the E-meter that will, by then, be as common as television and nicotine in US homes [pictured above: the pedestrian current version, which has nothing on the future one]. After the jump, the exclusive pictures of this once-in-several-lifetimes offer, and a description from the inventor himself. Bidding currently stands at $43. We can’t think of a wiser investment.

After intensely studying the works of Volney Mathison, inventor of the e-meter, and L. Ron Hubbard, who ripped off Mathison to make his own similar meter, I’ve reached into the future and hacked, ripped off, and refined the e-meters of the past with this Mark 9000 e-meter! The improvements you’ll notice right away. And this is handcrafted! And I don’t even want to tell you how long it took to make!

On the front you will see that it is a simplified reading from either Mathison’s or Scientology’s. If there is an engram or a thetan, the meter will show that, and the non-functioning lights will wish they could blink appropriately. Note also that the dial on the lower left goes up to 11! Show me anybody else’s meter that goes to 11!

On the inside you will see the technology I have discovered. What better way to detect thetans but with thetans! The green porcine thetan looks for nonhuman entities, and the cute girl/clock thetan looks for human entities. I’ve used high-tensile ultra-clear tape to ensure that this product is as good as it gets! And the string has a tensile strength of 20 pounds!

One of the cans is a real Campbell’s name-brand can, while the other is an off-brand. I did this to create an oscillating tone between the cans that helps wake up the thetans as you hold the cans.

This is the one-of-a-kind prototype, so no warranty is included. But if you have any thetans after 90 days of use, I’ll gladly give a refund provided the thetans sign a statement saying “I’m still here, jackass.”

[Thanks, Gawker]

We’ve all thought that the RIAA is just a bunch of money hungry thieves opportunists who use their position to extort take advantage of musicians and grant them ever decreasing royalties while they, and their lawyers get rich.

Now, some of the artists are threatening lawsuits of their own, and it’s against the RIAA and the record industry.  They claim that the millions of dollars that has been won in lawsuits has never trickled down to the poo, preyed upon artist.

BoingBoing & the NY Times report:

Record companies don’t share money extorted from file-sharing fans with artists

Posted by Cory Doctorow, February 28, 2008 11:41 PM | permalink

The record industry has sued over 20,000 music fans to “protect artists’ copyrights.” But they haven’t turned over any of the money to artists (of course, they never forked over any of the money from my.mp3.com, Grokster, Napster, etc).

A contingent of prominent artist managers claims that little to none of that money has trickled down to their clients. They are now considering legal action.”Artist managers and lawyers have been wondering for months when their artists will see money from the copyright settlements and how it will be accounted for,” said lawyer John Branca, who has represented Korn, Don Henley, and The Rolling Stones, among others. “Some of them are even talking about filing lawsuits if they don’t get paid soon.”

Link (via /.)

[Thanks, BoingBoing]

To paraphrase a line from ‘V is for Vendetta’

      Fear has become the ultimate tool of this government.

I’m adding a quote by Marian Anderson:

     Fear is a disease that eats away at logic and makes man inhuman.

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Today is Leap Day! Leap day a date that occurs only every four years, in years evenly divisible by 4, such as 1988, 1996, 2008 or 2016.  McDonalds will celebrate this year by giving away a free McSkillet Burrito with the purchase of a medium or large drink.

Today in 1504, Christopher Columbus uses his knowledge of a lunar eclipse that night to convince Native Americans to provide him with supplies.

Today in 1916, with regards to Child labor – In South Carolina, the minimum working age for factory, mill, and mine workers is raised from twelve to fourteen years old.

Today in 1988, South African archbishop Desmond Tutu is arrested along with 100 clergymen during a five-day anti-apartheid demonstration in Cape Town.

Celebrating Birthdays today are Pope Paul III, Eva Marie Veigel, Ann Lee, Gioacchino Rossini, Morarji Desai, Jimmy Dorsey, Dinah Shore, Tempest Storm, Tim Powers, Aileen Wuornos, Wendi Peters, and Antonio Sabàto, Jr.

Celebrating Death-iversaries today are Patrick Hamilton, John Whitgift, John Theophilus Desaguliers, Ina Coolbrith, Frank Albertson, and Tore Ørjasæter.

Anonymous, describes itself as "chaotic, disorganized, organic, viral, confusing, amusing and growing. It is in this structureless, leaderless, anarchic environment that many find strength when put against an organization which is based on, and can only understand, the most rigid forms of authority."  It’s one true purpose is to knock down the Church of Scientology.  Some of the actions they attribute to the CoS and it’s members are pretty frikkin’ scary!

Read the full contents of their message HERE!

One of the few conservatives who ever caught my attention, William F. Buckley Jr., died yesterday.  He was an author, nationally syndicated newspaper columnist and TV show host.  He is credited for having founded the modern conservative movement.

Here’s a link to the Washington Post article -> LINK

At the sound of the beep . . . A newer, funnier, answering machine message for you to try.

Hi! John’s answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I’ll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

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Today in 1784, John Wesley charters the Methodist Church.

Today in 1854, the Republican Party of the United States is organized in Ripon, Wisconsin.  And mores the pity.

Today in 1885, the American Telephone and Telegraph Company is incorporated in New York State as the subsidiary of American Bell Telephone. (American Bell would later merge with its subsidiary.)  120 years later they were involved in an illegal wiretapping scandal making them the enemy of the people.

Today in 1983, the final episode of M*A*S*H is broadcast in the USA, becoming the most watched television episode in history, with 106–125 million viewers in the U.S. (estimate varies by source).

Today in 1993, some Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms agents raid the Branch Davidian church in Waco, Texas with a warrant to arrest the group’s leader David Koresh. Four BATF agents and five Davidians die in the initial raid, starting a 51-day standoff.

Celebrating Birthdays today are Henry the Young King, Joost Bürgi, Benjamin Wadsworth, Louis Godin, Blondin, Philip Showalter Hench, Vincente Minnelli, Bugsy Siegel, Clara Petacci, Svetlana Alliluyeva, Zero Mostel, Mario Andretti, Bernadette Peters, John Turturro, Rae Dawn Chong, and Daniel Handler.

Celebrating Death-iversaries today are Cuauhtémoc, Henry James, Emile Buisson, Olof Palme, Laura Z. Hobson, Ishiro Honda, and Mary Stuart.

There is an interesting article over at Enturbulation.org that proposes a theory that L. Ron Hubbard, a mediocre S.F. writer, was not the original author of the ideas behind Scientology.  In fact, the article goes on to say that Dr. Anastasius Nordenholz originally wrote a book called "Scientology: Science of the Constitution and Usefulness of Knowledge" which was first published in 1934 by the Publishing House "Ernst Reinhardt" in Munich, Germany.

I guess it’s a Scientology banner week for bad publicity.

Where did Hubbard steal Scientology from?

From a German book written in 1934 he had read once. Now, through the miracle of the Internets you too can read it for the first time in …well …ever

[Thanks, Enturbulation]

The original text can be found HERE.

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Today in 1801, Washington, DC is placed under the jurisdiction of the U.S. Congress.

Today in 1879, the announcement of the discovery of artificial sweetener saccharin.

Today in 1922, a challenge to the Nineteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution, allowing women the right to vote, is rebuffed by the Supreme Court of the United States in Leser v. Garnett.

Today in 1973, the American Indian Movement occupies Wounded Knee, South Dakota.

Celebrating Birthdays today are Constantine Mavrocordatos, David Sarnoff, Marian Anderson, John Steinbeck, Clarence “Kelly” Johnson, Dexter Gordon, Ariel Sharon, Joanne Woodward, Ralph Nader, Howard Hesseman, Neal Schon, Nancy Spungen, Patricia Petibon, Rozonda “Chilli” Thomas, and Peter André.

Celebrating Death-iversaries today are Henry Dunster, John Evelyn, Louis Vuitton, Breaker Morant, Ivan Pavlov, Orry-Kelly, Frankie Lymon, Henry Cabot Lodge, Lillian Gish, Fred Rogers, and Bobby Rosengarden.

At the sound of the beep . . . A newer, funnier, answering machine message for you to try.

We’re sorry. You have reached an imaginary number. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again.

It appears that there has been a long running difference of opinion between the German government and the Scientologists.  It seems that the German government is a little hesitant to confer ‘Church’ status on the organization.  In fact, they consider the group to be a cult and an enormous threat to democracy and free will.

If the most recent allegations of Germany’s Office for the Protection of the Constitution are true, I might tend to agree with them.  Are the Scientologists brainwashing the youth of Germany?  If so, then they are no better than New Lighthouse Movement or Branch Davidians or any other group of crazies out there.  Children should be allowed to grow and form their own ideas and opinions so that they can make their own choice in the matter. Read the aticle below and decide for yourself!

From Spiegel Online International:

Munich Closes Scientologists’ Day-Care Center

Authorities have shut down a child-care facility in Munich, saying it was trying to indoctrinate young minds with Scientology. The war between the California "Church" and the German government continues.

The name on the door in the Sendling district of Munich sounded innocent enough: "Kinderhäusl." Little House for Kids. Child-drawn art hung in the windows. The little house had been open as a day-care center since the summer of 2007, but Munich officials shut it down Monday, saying its teaching methods were illegal. An estimated 20 children will have to find new day-care.

"The wellbeing of the children in the establishment was under threat," the Munich Education Department declared, "because the education process was based on the principles of Scientology" — whose content and methods threatened a child’s right to free growth and development, according to the statement.

The German government has been locked for years in legal battles with the Church of Scientology, which it considers a cult and a threat to its democratic system. The idea of a day-care center run by Scientologists would have raised official hackles, and in fact the Kinderhäusl’s troubles started early.

"A few weeks after the center opened we received a letter from the Federal Office for the Protection of the Constitution," said Eva-Maria Volland at Munich’s Education Department to SPIEGEL ONLINE. All members of the Kinderhäusl’s board were Scientologists, according to the letter, and the children were being raised according to the cult’s ideology.

Germany’s Office for the Protection of the Constitution was set up after World War II to pursue any group which the West German government deemed a specific threat to its democratic system. Neo-Nazis as well as radical Muslim groups have been watched and shut down by the office. A regional court in Germany recently ruled (more…) that Scientologists had enough "ambitions against the free, democratic basic order" for the office to go on watching them.

"There are concrete indications that Scientology’s activities are to implement Scientology’s program in Germany," the court in North-Rhine Westphalia ruled on February 12, "and to expand more and more Scientology’s principles in government, economy and society."

Scientologists have consistently claimed that they do nothing against German law. They say the government persecutes them.

A ‘Neutral’ Day-Care

The Education Department in Munich sent inspectors to the day-care center last winter; then state officials asked the center for an explanation of their work. Scientologists organized protests against this pressure, but on Monday the Education Department announced that the Kinderhäusl’s license to operate had been revoked.

Nicola Cramer, who sits on the day-care center’s board, called the decision a "government discrimination campaign" against a "religious community," saying the center was "neutral in its world-view" and open to children from any creed. Cramer said a child of her own had attended the Kinderhäusl.

"We will appeal this decision," she said.

[Thanks, Spiegel]

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Today is Liberation Day in Kuwait.

Today in 1797, the Bank of England issues the first one-pound and two-pound notes.

Today in 1919, an act of the U.S. Congress establishes most of the Grand Canyon as a United States National Park (see Grand Canyon National Park).

Today in 1991, Tim Berners-Lee introduces WorldWideWeb, the first web browser.

Celebrating Birthdays today are Christopher Marlowe, Claude Adrien Helvétius, Victor Hugo, Honoré Daumier, Levi Strauss, William F. "Buffalo Bill" Cody, John Harvey Kellogg, Herbert Henry Dow, Tex Avery, Jackie Gleason, Lucjan Wolanowski, Ariel Sharon, Elizabeth George, Michael Bolton, and Corinne Bailey Rae.

Celebrating Death-iversaries today are Symeon, Heinrich Faber, Claude Gaspard Bachet de Méziriac, Thomas d’Urfey, Robert Livingston, Richard Jordan Gatling, Princess Thyra, Levi Eshkol, Tjalling Koopmans, and Jack Clayton.

We all understand how important a show like Saturday Night Live is for our political well being.  The ability to poke fun at anything is a sign of great ‘mental’ health in our political system.  SNL, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert all have an important place in our lives and our society at large.

So, when they started poking fun at the power and momentum that Barack Obama has been building up in the past month or so you can be sure that it’s a real, newsworthy event!

From Cybercast News Service:

‘Saturday Night Live’ Mocks Obama Mania, Praises Clinton
By Matt Purple
CNSNews.com Correspondent
February 25, 2008

(CNSNews.com) – The most recent episode of "Saturday Night Live" featured a sketch parodying the media as head over heels for Sen. Barack Obama and a rant by former cast member Tina Fey endorsing Hillary Clinton as a "b—- … who gets stuff done."

The show’s opening sketch was a mock televised CNN debate between Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-N.Y.) and Obama (D-Ill.) – portrayed by actors Amy Poehler and Fred Armisen respectively. Cast members parodying three reporters asked Clinton absurdly difficult questions while fawning over Obama.

"Like nearly everyone in the news media, the three of us are totally in the tank for Senator Obama," said a faux Campbell Brown, introducing the debate.
"I myself have been clinically diagnosed as an Obamaniac while my associate John King just last week suffered his third Barack attack," she added.

Later, a cast member playing Univision anchor Jorge Ramos asked Obama, "Are you mad at me?" When Obama answered in the negative, Ramos said he was relieved because "all the shilling for you in my campaign coverage has been so obvious and because I spend every night sitting in front of your house in a parked car."

The sketch also featured a question from "an ordinary citizen chosen completely at random from the audience." The questioner turned out to be Web sensation Obama Girl who lip-synched the chorus of her song "I’ve Got a Crush on Obama."

Guest host and former SNL head writer Tina Fey later riffed on several common criticisms of Clinton during a monologue on the show’s comedic news broadcast "Weekend Update."

"Maybe what bothers me the most is that people say Hillary’s a b—-. And let me say something about that. Yeah she is," Fey said.

"B—–s get stuff done," she added. "That’s why Catholic schools use nuns as teachers and not priests. Those nuns are mean old clams, and they sleep on cots, and they’re allowed to hit you. And at the end of the school year, you hated those b—–s, but you knew the capital of Vermont."

Fey also took a shot at Republicans. Answering a criticism from Rush Limbaugh who had wondered if America was ready for an aging woman president, Fey said, "Really? They didn’t seem to mind when Ronald Reagan did that."

Since the Ford administration, "Saturday Night Live" has had a history of mocking American political figures. Darrell Hammond’s impression of Bill Clinton during the 1990s was widely hailed as one of the show’s most brilliant parodies.
Such portrayals are occasionally noticed by actual politicians. On Sunday, Hillary Clinton encouraged supporters to watch the debate sketch – now on You Tube and other Web sites – to show how unfairly she had been treated by the press.

After the first presidential debate in 2000, Al Gore’s advisors reportedly urged him to watch the show’s subsequent parody so he could improve his public image.

[Thanks, CNSNews]

At the sound of the beep . . . A newer, funnier, answering machine message for you to try.

International Space Station. Commander Marlin can’t come to the phone right now. She’s either saving the universe from some dread, unnamed peril, or perhaps taking a nappie. Leave your name and number after the beep and she will return your call.

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